Too Many Seeds

I hadn’t touched TikTok for about a month, so I went on to see what was up. Two scrolls in and there was a girl saying something along the lines of “ if your man is friends with women then XYZ blah blah”. I can’t remember the details but what I do remember is briefly pausing to reflect on my own relationship. Scanning for red flags and justifications before jumping to defence just in time to realize how fucked up this thought pattern was.

This stranger who doesn’t even know me suddenly had the power to make me question my own relationship. It is laughable honestly but it had me reflect on the way TikTok and even Instagram is constantly planting seeds in my head on issues and things that aren’t actually important for me right now. Not only that but SO much of the therapy/psychoanalysis that goes on on TikTok is worrisome. It’s just about as bad as WebMd in the sense that according to TikTok creators 99% of us are probably ADD, ADHD, Depressed, On the spectrum, a closeted bisexual or Anxious AF with attachment issues and a toxic narcissist somewhere in our lives.

While I have found some great advice, questions and eye opening ideas for mental health on social media, I am also finding it’s becoming overwhelmingly hard to tailor what I want to be entertained by. I am already someone who reflects a lot and sometimes I want to just be entertained but between dance videos, fashion inspo and humour I end up in unnecessary mental spirals about who i am, who i love, what I do and ultimately end up mentally exhausted. Which is why I don’t look at it often.

I really wish there was a way to separate entertainment from the psychoanalysis because I am not even asking for help and yet I am getting advice. Which makes TikTok a projecting, gas lighting and very narcissistic friend. Precisely why it’s toxic and most social media is. Because it is constantly assuming what I want or need to hear.

Another reflection I had just yesterday was about assumptions. While watching a young TikTok babe with what seemed to be a “perfect” body dance is how much I project on skinny people. Or shall I say mainstream beautiful people…Every time I see one on TikTok I tend to assume they are confident, have their shit together, probably have great self control, are healthy mentally and physically and must love themselves, their life and their body. Which is literally the only reason I would want to look that way because I think the look is the product of the rest. But I catch myself every time and laugh because I know for a fact none of that is true. Yet again I get caught in a spiral of reflection I did not ask for. On the surface it looks like an entertaining dance video but because of how she looks and the confidence she exudes in the brief 15 seconds, it brings up a truck load of shit.

It’s all too much, at least for me. The point of me sharing all this is just to remind myself and you to be mindful of the seeds that social media plants in your head. Is it actually for you? How much of your mental energy are these reflections taking from you and is it worth it? And what assumptions do you project on cool,funny or beautiful people?

Lastly if anyone knows how to get off psychoanalysis TikTok let me know!