1 <3 Online Dating: Questions
I realized quickly that most peoples online conversation skills suck and that even people who’s chat skills were good, didn’t equal a good match. Assuming you have figured out what you are looking for, you now need to ask the right questions to get the answers you are looking for!
I wish it was as simple as asking direct questions…
but I found out that even asking people what type of relationship they were looking for didn’t equate with an honest answer. Unfortunately a lot of people don’t even know what they want. So I had to get creative and find good questions to get people to reveal themselves!
Here are the 5 Questions that reveal the most:
What brought you to Hinge ( or X app) & How is it going?
Are you seeing anyone regularly now?
When was your last relationship and why did it end?
What type of connections are you looking for?
What’s your favourite way to get to know new people?
These are my fav questions to see why people are on the app, what they define as a good or bad experience, how honest they are and if they’re able to reflect respectfully on why or why not their last match didn’t work out. Of course don’t necessarily ask all in a row but do weave these in early on in the convo.
Why these Questions?
What brought them to the app can reveals their motives or how long they’ve been single. How it’s going, they will usually explain then what a good for bad experience looks like for them. Always inquire for more if they just answer with “good”. I usually ask, oh what’s good about it?
Asking if they are seeing anyone regularly is a good way to gauge, what is regularly to them, and see if they are honest. Of course they may lie but most people r honest at this stage. I usually say it’s important to me to not pretend we aren’t seeing other people. It’s a dating app of course we are entertaining other connections. Make honesty the best policy. most people find it refreshing.
Asking about last relationship or dating experience and why it ended is a good way to know how long ago they broke it off, ask about length of relationship too. Their answer to why it ended is always THE best indicator of emotional awareness. Do they blame the other person? Do they take any accountability? Do they even know why?
Asking about what connections they are looking for it a good way to know if someone is open to friendship or not, if its pure hook up, if it’s romance only etc. I typically am open to friends or more and am very clear that I rarely hook up on a first date. It’s important to set the expectations low so you don’t do anything out of desperation and know the other person is seeing you as a human and a not a need filler.
Once people pass these questions I usually ask how they like to get to know people because some prefer a coffee date, some moving to instagram, some dinner or drinks. The point is you want to say that you’d love to get to know them better, what’s the best way to proceed with that :)
The list goes on if you want it to but these days I find people have less patience to chat so getting right to the point tends to benefit both people. Once I vibe i like to switch it to the gram and keep touch through stories if that’s their thing, otherwise scheduling chat times, asking funny questions or making a date!
Hope that was helpful & Thanks for reading!
