there’s a void left

i hate to admit it but you fucked me up.

pangs of anxiety take over me as i learn to love again-
blessed with great people i fear to lose,
i struggle to fully trust,
because you- fucked me up.

struggling to trust my own feelings,
i wonder if anyone could handle all that is me,
unsure, i seek for your level of validation,
your unapologetic attention,
the weight of you always at reach -
yet never fully committed.
because you- fucked me up.

i hate to admit it but I let you fuck me up,
because a part of me,
felt insatiably good- finally being needed.